Did I give China crabs?

Back in 2008, I made this video about a Louisianan lobster slot machine:

This could only exist in the South, I thought. Only a place like Louisiana, where residents formerly owned people, would this much humiliating control of life be considered a viable form of dining, I thought.

Then I remembered:

China can produce everything but new ideas, and they’re conveniently really fucking good at putting living things in cages.

I’m actually impressed. Find any American vending machine, and you’ll find plenty of bullshit — but you certainly won’t find life.

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