Dear Hippies: Stop Talking About Mercury In Retrograde

Mercury

In the last year, I’ve both 1) started regularly using a telescope and 2) forgot how many hippies I’m friends with on Facebook. I sit here chuckling to myself at all of these posts about “Mercury going into retrograde”, a non-event that has no effect on your life at all, regardless of what your favorite spirituality blog says to the contrary. I doubt most of these folks could actually point Mercury out in the sky, yet now it’s like an anti-holiday for hippies acting entitled to being poor communicators for two weeks, essentially saying “A planet 48 million miles away is making me moody, not my own life choices.”

See this post’s actual picture of the planet Mercury above taken by NASA’s Messenger spacecraft. It’s 2015, people. Ditch the astrology, embrace the science. Actual *facts* about Mercury are amazing and interesting enough, you don’t need to make things up to feel connected to the universe. For example, Mercury is the smallest planet, most cratered planet, and closest planet to the Sun. Because of how close it is to the sun, it’s hard to find from Earth except during twilight. Even though it’s that close to the Sun, Mercury has water ice in the craters around its north pole, where parts of the planet are permanently shaded from the heat of the sun. Mercury speeds around the sun every 88 Earth days, traveling through space at nearly 112,000 mph. If you stood on Mercury the sun would appear more than three times as large as it does when viewed from Earth.

“Retrograde” motion is just an APPARENT change in the movement of Mercury through the Earth’s sky — nothing is actually happening to Mercury in any way. You know how when a parent plays peekaboo with a baby, they’re not actually disappearing even though the baby doesn’t know any better? It’s kind of like that. “Retrograding” is not REAL, the planet does not physically start moving backwards in its orbit. It just appears to do so because of the relative positions of Mercury and Earth and how they are moving around the Sun.

I promise, if everyone just *uses their words* like you’re *always supposed to* I’m confident you’ll all be fine.

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